Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
