Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
