Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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