alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
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something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
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Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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