I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
