what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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