Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
