Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
