I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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