how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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