we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
