She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
