$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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