Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
