Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
