Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Are we still banned from the library?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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