so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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