i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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