I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
