Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize