I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
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...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
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Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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