Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
