The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
