How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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