have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
