So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
