I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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