I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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