He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize