hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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