it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
