Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize