so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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