did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
