Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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