You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I am spending my child support on dildos
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
