You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I look better un-naked...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
