We won't sleep together?
Nicole vs. Life
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
