Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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