look no pants
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
