well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
