remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
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He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
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I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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