Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
