But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
