the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
