Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
