Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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