..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
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My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
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Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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