NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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