yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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