I feel like abortions should bother me more
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
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