WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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