Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
you had me at cake vodka
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He shit in the fireplace
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
