Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
