JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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