You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Randomize
