Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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