i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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