Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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