Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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