I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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