We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
