you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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