I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
