Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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